Adoptee Story: Ujaala

December 5, 2020

Adoptee Story:

Ujaala, born in India, adopted in India.

INTRO: Fellow adoptee Ujaala, shares her story with us, in her own words. She speaks of her birthday, and the questions and emotions connected to that day. I think many adoptees can find her words relatable.

“Pandemic birthdays are strange in a year filled with unfathomable grief, disappointment, anxiety & loss.

The big 40!

The day was spent in the love & kindness of extended family, friends, and well-wishers.

I chose gratitude to tap into what feels authentic

And then there’s this sadness

That creeps up

Every. single. year.

louder & stronger

Shaking it off becomes heavier

A constant gnaw

Where does this sadness come from?

I’ve been reflecting a lot on fear & envisioning what lives beyond it

Go for the jugular, identify the emotions & feelings, I told myself this year.

Angry for not being able to articulate feelings of

loss

rage

rejection

Feelings of being abandoned, unwanted, discarded

And then it hits me

Every 23rd of October

I think of my birth mother

Has she forgotten?

Has she remembered?”

Written by Ujaala

If you with to connect with Ujaala, she is on Instagram and you can find her HERE.

Amanda Medina

I was adopted from Medellin, Colombia to Sweden in 1985. I was about a year and a half when I started my life as an adoptee, and it would take 32 years until I was ready to face what that means, what that has always meant, and what that will always mean.