Shared with us anonymously
INTRO: A fellow adoptee shares their story with us, anonymously. This fellow adoptee talks about the struggle of being an adoptee and believing the mean things others tell you…
My story starts with how I felt being adopted. Growing up I would say up till middle school I was fine with being adopted. I was adopted at 4 years old but I had lived with them since I was 18 months.
Anyways I grew up as “these are my parents” so being adopted was very normal to me. Until middle school and highschool where I got heavily bullied for being adopted. First it started off with the kids seeing my white mom (I’m Hispanic) and saying “that’s your mom” which I’d reply “I’m adopted so that’s why she looks different”. It really started to become real when you get that “ You’re adopted? “ and the face they make, it’s like they are looking at an alien. That’s how I felt. Like an alien, outcast, reject. Year by year I got more curious and got more bullied where it got more verbal. The “you’re a failed abortion,” to “your mom doesn’t love you.”
This was very hard for me cause this is what I’d think at night. “Why didn’t my mom love me? Was I not enough?” Throughly the years I learned I had more siblings but no names. I learned my cousin was actually my brother. I learned why we were taken away… I was abused. This is when I started to change. Hearing that you got abused as a baby and have the scars, this changes you. Made me colder. I struggled so much because I had all these thoughts and questions in which I couldn’t ever get answers. It’s hard because no one can relate, there was no one to talk to except the negative thoughts. I grew up to be very depressed for a long time, for years. My parents eventually that there was files with info on my birth family. Learning this really pissed me off because they knew how much I needed to find my birth family and they waited to tell me until I was 20. It had all the information and I found my brother which helped me track our birth mother. My dreams come true. My birth mother loves me and she tells me this and how she is so proud of me. This is everything for me and I’m so happy. This was best senario. But I found my abuser, I found out my dad wanted nothing to do with me. I found out my abuser hated me so much, but how do you hate a baby? That’s what I was, a baby and I was abused.
It’s not fair. I deserved a loving home. We all do. But even though I have all these positives I still can’t get over my abuser and my birth father. It kills me inside. I love my life I really do but I think I’m a little depressed. I still feel like a reject. I feel as if I’m alone and I’m just gonna always feel like this no matter how happy I am. When I look back at my childhood I remember mostly just how sad I was. I don’t know if I’ll ever be “ok” with being adopted but hopefully I can be. Thank you for letting me have the opportunity to tell my story.