We talk a lot about the struggles of being adoptees, the things done to us, the things we’ve dealt with and the things we have overcome.
We talk about how people view adoption.
We talk about the people who adopted us.
We talk about the people who made our adoption happen.
We talk about our first mothers and we talk about our adoptive mothers.
This Mother’s Day, I have a message to a group of people who I am a part of myself, and who share an experience we don’t talk a whole lot about.
Understandably so, because it is really personal and can be really hard at times.
My message today, is for the adoptees who are mothers.
The women who have carried life inside their bodies.
The women who have given birth.
The women who have known their child before meeting them.
The women who have loved their child before knowing them.
The women who have found dna connection for the first time, in their child.
For the women who have understood the importance of genetic lineage once they had a child.
For the women who have gone through pregnancy with no direction from their mother.
For the women who have been unable to match their child’s milestones to their own.
For the women who have had to mark “no access” on their child’s medical form when asked about the mother’s medical history.
For the women who have realized their own trauma only when standing face to face with it, through situations and actions of their child.
For the women who have looked at their child and wondered how it’s possible to abandon one’s child, knowing that’s what was done to them.
For the women who have looked at their child and wondered how much their own mother must have suffered when losing them.
For the women who have realized what the bond between mother and child is, only when having their own child.
For the women who are doing everything in their power to give their child what the primal wound stole from them.
For the women who are working on themselves, finding the courage to heal, doing inner work and constantly pushing themselves to be more than an adoptee, to be more mother than adoptee.
For all the women who are adoptees and who are mothers.
I see you. I recognize you. I am one of you.
Today, and every day, I honor you.
I celebrate you.
I love you.
As always, I thank you for being here, for taking the time to show up for yourself, and others.
All my love to all of you
To all my fellow adoptees,
PS. We are all in this together
2 thoughts on “A Piece of My Writing: For the Women Who Are Adoptees and Mothers”
Thank you for your work. I too am an adoptee and writer. My book, Lifting the Lid ~ a memoir born of adoption, was published last year. I’m based in Melbourne, Australia.
Which city/country are you?
Amanda, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for finding the words that match my experience as an adoptee and a mother of two sons. I follow you on IG, and have just began to read some of your blog posts, but wanted to reach out to say thank you, and I too see you!