A Piece of My Writing: I Am Not An Angry Person
November 1, 2020
November 2020 is here.
That means National Adoption Awareness Month 2020 is here.
Last year I started saying that NAAM should really be National Adoptee Awareness Month, arguing that if we are going to talk about awareness around adoption it should come from the people who live it every day of our lives, us, adoptees.
This month, you will get to read adoptees’ stories on the blog, told in their own words. If you wish to check out stories shared from previous years, please, find them HERE.
I will share a few pieces of my own writing with you in the form of letters where I direct myself to 4 important components of my own adoption story; my first country, my adoptive country, my adoptive family, and my first family.
To kick it all off though, I share with you this piece I wrote a few weeks ago as I was just letting my mind wander and the pen move in accordance.
“I am not an angry person,
but the rage I carry is heavy.
I am not an angry person,
but the darkness I carry is heavy.
I am not an angry person,
but the sorrow I carry is heavy.
I am not an angry person,
but the loss I carry is heavy.
I am not an angry person,
but I am…
…I am scared.
…I am burdened.
….I am sad.
I am grieving.
I am surviving.
I am understanding.
I am not an angry person.
I am an adoptee.
I am out of the fog.”
Written by Amanda Medina
I mentioned in my last post how anger is one of the things I struggle with. Even so, I am not an angry person by nature. On the contrary, I love to be around people, have a good laugh and connect in conversation with others. I enjoy life in general, and see most of the things I have been through as experiences and lessons that have contributed to where I am today, and do not generally like being angry. Yet, it’s there, a constant reminder of a past I don’t know anything about, but from which I hope to find more and more healing moving forward.
As always, I thank you for being here, for taking time to show up for yourself, and others.
To all my fellow adoptees,
PS. We are all in this together.
End of Article
Amanda Medina
I was adopted from Medellin, Colombia to Sweden in 1985. I was about a year and a half when I started my life as an adoptee, and it would take 32 years until I was ready to face what that means, what that has always meant, and what that will always mean.
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