Navigating Life after Trauma as an Adoptee

May 19, 2025

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There’s a space in the healing journey, we don’t talk a whole lot about—the space after the unraveling.

After the trauma has surfaced. After the breakdowns and breakthroughs. After the identity crisis, the journals full of questions, the conversations that left you shaken. There’s a strange feeling of standing in between two worlds that can follow. The before that is no longer, and the after that is not yet.

And that’s where I found myself not long ago. Sitting in that in-between space—no longer in survival mode, but not yet sure what thriving really looked like either. I had faced the trauma. But I wasn’t sure how to live beyond it.

This space can feel disorienting. And for adoptees, especially those of us who spent years saying “I’m fine,” it can be tempting to think the work is done after the first big wave passes. But healing isn’t just about facing the past. It’s about learning how to build something new.

Root Yourself in Truth

Maybe you’re finding yourself in that in-between, where you feel you have unpacked so much, but you are not sure what to do with it all. I have been there. Whether you are healing based on faith or not, rooting yourself in the truth that your experience matters, that you have something unique to offer the world and that you are valuable can be game-changing.

I was well into adulthood the first time I heard those words, and the person who said them to me for the first time…was me. I wrote a letter to my younger self, and said all the things I needed to hear. You can listen to it here.

After a lot of unpacking, processing and unravleing, I found myself having to rebuild my foundation—this time on something unshakable. For me, that meant rooting myself in who God says I am. I am not just a daughter who was given away and lost everything. I am a daughter of a perfect Father who has a plan for me.

If you want a reminder that you can hang on your wall, display on your nightstand or put anywhere you know you will see it daily, I created a mantra for myself in a time when I needed to hear some comforting, encourgaing and grounding truth. Realizing it could help others as well, I have since made it into a poster. You can have a look at it here.

Learn about “Loving Self-Awareness”

It’s one thing to recognize our patterns. It was a game changer for me when I started piecing together why I did certain things, or where certain behaviors came from. I have written a blog post about it here.

True healing begins when we meet that awareness with love. I learned about the concept of “Loving Self-Awareness” from Henry Ammar, a human behavioral specialist who has been a mentor, coach and core influence in my healing journey. He talks about how it is not enough to know what we do, or even why, but the missing ingredient for so many of us, is love. And not love from others, but love for ourselves, all of ourselves. Even the parts we don’t like.

It’s a challenge. But it’s also one of the most powerful, healing things we can do.

This principle is at the heart of the Empowerment coaching I offer to adoptees. Together, we don’t just identify the patterns—we gently explore how to meet them with grace and self-love so true transformation can take place.

Surround Yourself with People Who “Get It”

Healing in isolation is hard. One of the biggest reasons I was able to keep pushing forward was because I made sure to surround myself with people who I knew would understand. When I first started out that meant fellow adoptees. Over time it came to include people who were experienced or well-versed on the topic of trauma. In recent years, it has expanded to include people who are fellow Christ-followers.

One of the things I say to people who are just coming into the adoptee centered conversations, be it on social media, through blogs or podcast, or in person meetings, is to find your people within the broader “community”. Some adoptees are going to be your people and some are not. Some non-adoptees are going to be your people, some are not.

Feeling safe to open up, be honest and authentic as your are working things out, is vital. Part of it has to do with the people you surround yourself with, part of it will have to do with the conversations you have with yourself, and part of it will have to do with knowing who is safe for you to opening up to.

Eventually, the idea is that you will be authentic with anyone, in any setting, and in any company. But, as an adoptee who was a true chameleon for most of my life, it took at lot of inner work to build the courage and confidence to be able to just be me, no matter what.

So, be patient with yourself.

Healing is a lifelong process. But navigating life after trauma doesn’t have to feel like wandering in the dark. You can build something meaningful, steady, and hope-filled. And no matter where you are in the journey—you’re not walking it alone.

Have you felt this “in-between” season after unpacking trauma? How are you navigating it? I’d love to hear in the comments—or connect with me on on Instagram or Facebook.

Stay Connected

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Courage, Love & Blessings, Always!

Amanda Medina
Founder, This Adoptee Life™

Resources That Helped Me on My Healing Journey

If you’re beginning your own journey of healing, faith, or reflection, here are a few resources that encouraged me along the way:

A simple Journal to accompany me in my bag, on my bedside table or anywhere I may need a moment to stop, breathe, reflect and write it out. This is one of the most powerful tools I have had in my tool box throughout this whole journey.

If you’re exploring your faith or looking for daily grounding, I highly recommend this Woman’s Study Bible by She Reads Truth. It’s beautifully designed, easy to read, and filled with encouragement that reminds you of who you truly are.

The book Adoption Unfiltered provides three different perspectives on adoption, as it is written by an adoptee, a first mom and an adoptive mom.

Amanda Medina

I was adopted from Medellin, Colombia to Sweden in 1985. I was about a year and a half when I started my life as an adoptee, and it would take 32 years until I was ready to face what that means, what that has always meant, and what that will always mean.