My Writings: Reflecting on my (birth)Day…

Birthdays can be tough for adoptees. Issues range from not knowing our actual birthday, knowing our birth certificates have been changed, not having birth certificates, to knowing for certain that the date it says in our papers is not the day we were born, and many more. Not knowing the details around our birthday makes many of us feel lost

It’s like we weren’t born, we just started existing one day…

Here is a piece of writing, reflecting on my own (birth)Day that I would like to share with you.

 

Today is my birthday, although it‘s not.

I have a story in my adoption papers that I don’t know if it’s really mine or not.

I have a name that was given to me by authorities at some point after coming into their care.

I have a date that was estimated to be my birthday, by doctors who examined me as a baby.

None of the things relating to my birth are actually relating to my birth.

Throughout my life I have felt all kinds of different emotions around that.

Sad

Confused

Lost

Grieving

Indifferent

even Rebellious

The not knowing!

Instead

Knowing the date in my papers is not the day I was born.

Knowing I am not the astrological sign of my birthday.

Knowing I did not come into this world on my birthday, and therefore it isn’t actually my birthday.

Backwards to what most people are able to take for granted.

Celebrating one’s birthday on the day one was born.

I don’t know what day I was born.

I was given July 1st as my day.

I have always claimed it as mine.

But the questions are many,

the feelings are mixed

and the certainties are none,

This year like all others before,

I refuse to not have a day to call mine.

So July 1st is…

I celebrate My Day!!!

(Although it’s not actually my birthday)

 

Written by

Amanda Medina

July 1st, 2019

One thought on “My Writings: Reflecting on my (birth)Day…

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